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Sunday, July 25, 1999

YOU JUST WON THE LOTTERY AND YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BECOME PRESIDENT

I could win the lottery and still not have enough money to campaign and LOSE for the office of the President of the United States.

It is so ridiculous how this entire country is run by MONEY. Forget the Red, the White and the Blue, now it's just the Green, the Green and the GREEN.

Or should I just say the GREED.

The plague of greed has spread itself to the realm of politics where if you've got a lot of dough you can win. This year we will watch money triumph over AN INCUMBENT.

I hope I am wrong, really, I do hope that I am mistaken when I say that I expect Gore to lose the Presidential race against George W. Bush. Polls taken around the country ALREADY put Gore behind George W. Bush - why?

People feel Gore is stiff and what do they think of George W. Bush? He's the son of George Bush and he was pretty fun and animated and his kid is the Governor of Texas! Gore is just the Vice President, plus he's one of those environmental nuts. That's all we know right now - but let me tell you - I'd MUCH rather have a stiff, environment-minding ken doll in the White House over ANOTHER BUSH.

I did a LOT of work back in 1992 pointing out what a crappy leader Bush had been and I'm NOT about to see his KID get elected - BUT MONEY will see that I will fail. He will buy the ads and hire the speech writers and the PR guys and he will most likely get into the mudslinging first and oh, it'll be a mess. But in the end he will win. Why? Because of all that MONEY he's got that he's willing to SPEND to make sure his image is the most pristine, untouchable image out there.

If only we could put a cap on how rich people could be to run for Oval Office. Wouldn't that be cool? Sorry, you make 6 figures, TOO RICH! You? You're a plumber? And what will your platform be?

How GREAT would that be? Cable Guys and Video Store Owners from all over the country would declare their candidacy in the run for the highest office. And guess what? We'd FINALLY have a president that would be in touch with the people. Plus we might get really good deals on plumbing!

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