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Sunday, August 1, 1999

NEW SHOWS, THEY SUCK PART 6! (THE FINAL CHAPTER)

Check out my past declarations of upcoming crappy shows NEW to American TV this Fall:

NBC - THE WB - ABC - CBS - UPN

And now, let the blood bath continue with FOX!

"Get Real" (FOX) - This is a family drama with three kids, their two parents and their windowed Mom. The only thing that gives me hope is that it was created by the guy who created Parker Lewis Can't Lose from the early 90s and that show was GREAT. But unless this show is really wacky (Like Parker), this show will tank.

"Harsh Realm" (FOX) - This show from Chris Carter, the creator of The X-Files, is about a US Army Soldier who is sent "into" a military VR combat simulator where several other soldiers had already "entered" and become "trapped". Well, all I can say is video game based TV shows, NEVER make for good TV. Plus I hear the comic book this series is based on is TOTALLY different and MUCH better. Expect this to last one season out of respect for Carter and then get canned. After that expect Chris Carter to desperately cling to as many seasons of the X-Files as he can convince Fox he can do, because at this point he'll know that anything else he creates... sucks.

"Manchester Prep" (FOX) - Based on that movie Cruel Intentions from 1998 that was already based on Dangerous Liasons which in turn was based on that old French book Les Liaisons Dangereuses. Don't expect anything much from this series but a soap opera structure that won't be smart enough to grab anyone's attention.

"The Badland" (FOX) - The story of a 19 year-old rookie cop. Now, don't cops have to go to some sort of Cop School? If they don't, why are we letting these guys roam the streets with GUNS?!? Anyway, this doesn't strike me as all that exciting. It could be good, but unless I hear GREAT things after it's premiere, I WON'T be watching...

"Time Of Your Life" (FOX) - This Party Of Five spin-off stars cute as a button actress Jennifer Love Hewitt as her Party character goes off in search of her Mom's past. This could be good, but without top-notch writing only the true die hard Party fans will follow the show and no new Time fans will be created. I bet the show will fail, but not because it's bad, just because it'll be written off as a just another spin-off. I hope I'm wrong though.

"Action" (FOX) - The creator of The Larry Sanders Show is not showing an great originality with this new show about a producer trying to survive in Hollywood. GREAT, ANOTHER story about Hollywood guys. I know Hollywood-types are self-centered, but ENOUGH ALREADY!! If I want this kind of story I'll go watch my copy of The Player!!

"Ally" (FOX) - This quasi-spin-off of Ally McBeal basically features cutting-room-floor footage from the hour version of the show somehow cut together to make 22 minute stories. I hope this one works, I'm curious how it WILL work. Sounds like this show's run will be shorter than one of Ally's skirts. We'll see...

"Malcom In The Middle" (FOX) - The story of an incredibly smart fourth grade white boy living in a "dysfunctional" family who is suddenly thrust into an "advanced" class at school. I can't figure out which is more boring, the cute white cast or its premise. Strangely it's created by Linwood Boomer who claims to have created 3rd Rock from the Sun although I can't seem to find his name listed anywhere at IMDB.com's listing for 3rd Rock - go fig.

"Dark Angel" (FOX) - James Cameron created this mid-season series about a genetically engineered (and cute as a button) 18 year-old girl who is hunted by the military who created her as she hunts down her fellow genetically engineered siblings. Hm, Jim Cameron furthers his attempts at creating original material by ripping off the Image Comic Book Gen 13. Expect this to go the way of ID4 creators' The Visitor - it'll last for 13 episodes and then end up in reruns on the SciFool Network.

Do YOU think these shows will be any good?

1 comment:

  1. Incidentally, Linwood Boomer also produced the pilot for an American version of the classic British scifi sitcom Red Dwarf. That pilot never got picked up. Obviously he had more luck with Malcolm. BTW, I tried watching that show but found it to be insipid and contrived. I actually felt the RD pilot was better. :(

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