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Sunday, November 7, 1999

WHY DO TRAILERS SUCK?

Is it me? Or have movie trailers (or previews) gotten progressively worse over the past ten years.

Sure, there are the trailers that are really awesome (Dark City, Iron Giant, Matrix, to name a few) but for the most part all trailers seem to be cut from the same mold - every single one of them.

If it's a wacky comedy, it's just random wackiness. The trailer people don't even try to explain how the movie is good or what the actual story is, just the basic premise and every joke they can throw at us.

If it's a drama the film is advertising, the trailer will start off light... "Jim Bowden was a normal high school kid..." They show images of him in school, with friends, etc. But then it begins to get dark - suddenly the voice over guy gets serious... "But then he discovered... there was a Nazi living in his quiet little neighborhood." Then we see a rapid succession of shots on the kid as he is doing things, running, hiding, etc, (while we hear a heavy drum beat in the background) until the final shot where the lead kid has some sort of weapon that he hurls at the camera and then we cut to black. The title fades up and then out.

The trailer for the colossal flop 8mm LITERALLY gave me a headache. Sleepy Hollow's trailer made me wonder if epileptics around the world would have fits while watching the trailer. And what's with Danny Elfman's marching band music during all of the action scenes? Is that a sword in the Headless Horseman's hand, or a baton?!?!

It's gone beyond the clicheness of showing the climax of a movie in the trailer - trailers these days show every important plot point and the big ending! Sometimes they show everything out of order, but a mildly educated mind can piece them all together in the right order. I just don't get it - the frustrating thing is - most of America goes to see the movies that these trailers are cut for, so the moron-ad-guys think that they're doing a good job!

I almost didn't see Fight Club because the trailer made it look like a different film entirely and if the trailer to The Sixth Sense had told the truth about it's movie, I probably wouldn't have seen it. Sure, it got me in the theater, but I was really annoyed that I had been lied to. I also hated the movie, too.

Why can't trailers be cut in a way that simply and clearly advertises the movie? Hey - you've heard of that recent flop Body Shots? It's a movie about date rape. Bet you didn't know know THAT from the trailer...

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